It's all hidden.

I've been feeling down for the past few days. May due to PMS (mood swing). I really feel very very sad when I'm alone. Alot of things playing in my mind.

It has been 3 days I've not chat/SMS with him. I really hate this kind of feeling. It really tied me down. Last saturday, while at home, I on my winamp. Choose some songs & played them. When the song "Ke Hujung Dunia" from Siti Sarah was played, my tears drop. I started crying. I played it 3 times and my tears just won't stop flowing from my eyes. I really miz him terribly.

2 days I waited but he wasn't online. I did sms but no reply. Did I do anything wrong? Did I say something that hurt him? Did something happened to him? Alot of qns playing in my mind.

I tried to put a happy face infront of my frens but deep inside my heart, only GOD knows. I really feel very terrible. Yesterday nite, I cried again before going to sleep. Arrrggghhh!!! This will never end till he comes back.

Sometimes I juz wonder, is it so difficult for him to SMS me once a day? I juz want to know whether he's in good condition or not? I'm trying to be a understanding gf here. But it's really difficult. Alot of assumptions will start flooding my mind. That's why I rather cried and keep it to myself.

It's not easy to be faithful to someone when he's away. I trying to dicipline myself. Trying to be good. Trying not to do stupid things that can make me guilty the rest of my life.

Shah has been SMSing me saying he miss me alot & when to meet again. Lain yg aku tunggu lain yg SMS. Stress sakz aku kat sini!!! Bleh jadi giler lah kalau drag mcm ni. I dun want to play with his feelings. But I can't afford to tell him that I'm already attached. Am I being selfish? I'm really stuck with the problems that I've created.

Dear ALLAH, pls help me to go thru this obstacles with a lot patience. I really need to have a lot of patience at this point of time. I tot I can get used to it after a month but I think it getting worst. The feeling of missing him getting deeper & deeper day by day.

Aku pasrah!!!!

PrinXeSs Montelz told you a secret at 11:50 PM .